Yesterday was my last day of work. My boss wanted to throw me a surprise party. I hate surprise parties. They are awful, vicious, and never end up like what’s intended. The first and last surprise party I had was my 13th birthday. I cried and ran out of the room. Surprise parties are the […]

2025 was a full year. I started the year married but alone. Attached but so very broken. Trying to believe that breaking free would be better, that maybe I could be free. It’s hard to see the light sometimes. This year has been one of discovery for me. Realizing how very far I had fallen

Why do i feel like I’m failing at everything i do? I’m ready to give up. Trying my best to be a good parent. I used to feel like a good parent. Now i just feel like I’m failing. Falling. Drowning. Overwhelmed by everything with no relief. Try to stay positive. Try to keep my

E has a girlfriend. I’m glad for him. And yet I can’t help wondering. What if she’s prettier than me? What if the kids like her better than me? I don’t want him back. But it still hurts a little to feel replaced. I don’t want that life. I can never go back to that.

Why is so hard to stand up? To break out? All I wanted was peace. I didn’t even know how bad it was, I buried myself. And when I recognized it, I still had faith that it could get better. All I’ve gotten is more pain. I feel as though I was living underground and

I’m done. Done trying to appease those who have done nothing but blame and hurt me. Done going above and beyond for those who will barely even look me in the eye. Done begging for crumbs of attention, of acknowledgment, of appreciation. Done trying to prove my worth to those who don’t care to see

How is it possible that seeing the good in people can be turned against me? I always give the benefit of the doubt, always look for the good. And yet here I am rage cleaning at 4am, fuming because I let my guard down. I opened up, I explained myself, I was vulnerable. I thought

I am broken. I didn’t know how much more I could hurt. I didn’t know how much more lonely I could feel. I am empty. I have nothing left to give. And yet I must. I must be positive, be strong, be compassionate. I must keep going. Be a safe place for my kids. Be

Well apparently I’m giving my kids a broken home for the holidays. I tried to be honest with E tonight and it just unraveled so I guess that’s it. Maybe we’re too different, maybe we’ve just been pretending for too long. I know I have. But I didn’t know that I was pretending. I realize