All the things that happen in my head
I’m a mess. I’m actively having a mental breakdown and trying to push it back down while simultaneously knowing i need to deal with it. To process. But i don’t know how to process. I’m afraid to process. Easier to bury it. But is it really? I have feelings. It doesn’t make sense but I […]
I feel like I’m waking up. Like I’ve been underground for so long and I’m just now seeing the sun again and remembering how good it feels. Like I’ve been drowning and surviving off tiny breaths of air and now am safely on the shore. Today is the first day I don’t feel like I’m
I sat down to try to write out what I’m feeling. And the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know how to express it. I’m caught between two immovable objects. An impossible situation. Trying to advocate for someone in need to someone who refuses to hear it and I feel stuck. I feel trapped.
She’s gone. Really truly gone. It’s been a week today and this is the first time I’ve really let myself feel it. Really let myself cry about it. Like sniveling sobbing can’t breathe crying. She’s just gone. I don’t know what my world looks like without her in it. Everywhere I look in my house
Grief is a fickle thing. I keep going through waves, from busy and distracted, to angry, to depressed and just staring at the wall. I don’t know how to act. I think my brain has just shut down and is refusing to deal with the trauma. This is different than when Kelly died. That hit
My best friend died today. And i don’t know how to process that. I saw her before and after. I know that its true but I still don’t fully feel it. My heart breaks thinking of my kids growing up without her. Not being able to see her playing with them or asking her advice.
Do you ever feel like nothing gets done unless you do it yourself? I have so many things that I want to accomplish during the day, so many tasks just to keep up with day to day life. I feel as though I’m never caught up and even if I am, I still feel like
What do you expect out of a relationship? At what point should you talk about those expectations? I’m betting it’s probably sooner than 12 years into it. The fact that we’ve made it this far means either something has changed with our expectations to each other, or we’re just very good at ignoring issues. And
I’m lying in bed “sleeping in” but really just too scared of what I’m going to find when I get up. Will my husband’s alarm actually have gotten him up for once? Is he actually preparing a nice breakfast and coffee? Are the kids actually playing nicely or are they zombies in front of a
It’s the little things that remind you of the people you love. The big events too but the little insignificant things are what hit the hardest. It’s been 3 weeks since Kelly died. We got back from the funeral and our whirlwind CA trip on Monday and then it all hit me. All the feelings